Almost a year ago, I jotted down few working titles for some books I’d thought of writing at some time in the future. Despite the fact that as of May, 2015 I had written a total of zero books, and also despite the fact that my output of books has increased not at all in the past twelve months, I will nevertheless dare to propose a few more possible titles for the consideration of the universe.
But first, I wish to note that I have in fact written one or two fragments that could actually fit into at least a few of my proposed titles of a year ago. For example, I did a rather minor amount of autobiographical writing, most of it while at least mildly intoxicated, which could later be folded into The Gayest Stork, my proposed honest-to-the-point-of-brutality portrait of myself as a seventeen year old. Likewise a certain amount of what one might charitably call my journaling could be imagined between the covers of Pickled, a chemical history of my extended family. Little writing, but much practical research has been conducted for the Sub-Herbia project, my proposed collection of interviews with nontraditional marijuana users and on WordPress: a History. I regret to being able to announce almost no progress on Consolidated Diversified (my imagined manual for organizational development), Borked (my graphic novel about web security) nor any of my other titles, whose names escape me, along with the tab on my web browser containing them, which must be around here somewhere.
But I digress … on to this year’s titles, all of which I have — with varying degrees of seriousness — contemplated writing in the past twelve months:
Saying no to God, Saying yes to Dog
How to lose your religion while gaining a pet.
A killer is loose among the Amish
A Bomb in the Pram
Religious radicalization leads to sectarian violence among a group of bored upper-middle-class supermoms in suburban London.
In which — armed with no good evidence — I document the secret gay lives of several American Founding Fathers, interspersed with my own present-day quest to obtain membership in the Sons of the American Revolution.
Freedom in the Hundred Decibel Bedroom
A practical guide for those who sleep with heavy snorers. Contains many tips, sleeping positions, psychological pressure techniques.
A book about all of those diseases you used to hear about all the time but JUST DON’T HEAR ABOUT ANY MORE
More than Hoodies: a guide to nerd chic
Geek approaches to clothes: algorithmic wardrobes, randomness and function as form.
If it’s not Too Much Trouble
A manual of Lutheran “etiquette”
My Six Deaths
A natural history of the six times I would have likely died had I been born in the world before modern medicine. To wit: an infected wound, complications from Crohn’s Disease, childhood epilepsy (would have lead accusations of demon possession and ritual death), pneumonia, a severe throat and sinus infection and a bicycle accident and subsequent skin infection.